Real Compassion
I learn the most from the places where I have been hurt the most. This hurt broke my heart open to the point I am able to feel the pain and desolation of others – and my heart breaks for their suffering too. Out of that woundedness comes the capacity to bring forth incredible beauty and positive change into the world.
I think about how my relationships are changing, because I’ve changed my conversations internally and with others – by doing the self-work necessary to cultivate a new depth of being seen, by dealing with the hard inward conversations through therapy. I share my journey with others in hopes that we can move the dialogue about mental health forward in valuable ways.
My personal challenge is how do I tell my truth and be brave to face the consequences, without making my social media usage reductive? When I studied my social media posts last year during the height of my depression – it was a cry for help, cleverly hidden behind emotional, self-indulgent prose. This doesn’t mean that I’m trying to invalidate my personal struggles. However, presenting a critical, reactive view of my mental state without considering my partner’s feelings at the time, only served to erode trust in the relationship.
To echo Jill Filipovic, I am so grateful to be given the opportunity to do the work on my own, by recognizing that no one is infallible and no one sees the whole picture, and understanding that the work is to push myself to expand my views. There is no one universal right answer to matters of the heart, no scale that weighs the grief of a broken heart against the personal liberties of another. But for those of us who care about justice and positive impact of all kinds, we have to always challenge ourselves, to recalibrate our scales as we learn more, and fold into our analysis perspectives that are not only from our vantage point. Putting ourselves in the shoes of another is the first step in moving conversations forward in love and compassion.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B7_TeN3pgql/?igshid=qt829dqw9v78